Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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