Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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