Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
