oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
