It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
