The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
