eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
