Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
