from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
