I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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