Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize