But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
