If i come over, it means nothing
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
