I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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