she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
