And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
