why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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