I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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