Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
