O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize