Im at strip club and am horny
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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