i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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