She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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