...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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