I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
