Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she pinky promised me she was 18
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
