my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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