So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
