I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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