17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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