even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize