Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
