I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
