no you cant smoke seaweed
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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