C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ttyl tear gas
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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