Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We need to rekindle our bromance
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
