someone get that fucking seahorse.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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