I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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