is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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