This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
