have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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