More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
