You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
COCAINE IS GR8
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
