I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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