Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
