is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
