you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
