I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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