apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
