I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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