I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize