go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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