Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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