question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
