i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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