Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
