i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize