This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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