I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
