If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
