She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
