Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
